


Mr. Downey's An Asshole

by a_stray_kat



Category: Actor RPF
Genre: I wrote this when I was tired, s'pose to be cute, title says it all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-25
Updated: 2016-05-25
Packaged: 2018-06-10 15:53:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6963250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_stray_kat/pseuds/a_stray_kat





	Mr. Downey's An Asshole

"Robert, I can't," I whisper. "I'm sorry. I can't do this." I grip at the silk bed sheets, my heart racing in my chest.

"What? Why not?" A soft concern mixes into his brown eyes as he stares into my own.

"This is so _wrong_. So wrong. I feel terrible." I start pushing myself up, ready to get my clothes back on and leave.

He places his hand on my chest. He pushes me down again, hardly using any force. "You'll be fine. Everything will be fine. Just don't think about it."

"But your _wife_. Won't Susan, like, freak out or something?"

He shushes me, pressing the palm of his hand to my mouth. "There you go. You're thinking about it. Look, I've done this tons of times. She hasn't chewed me out about it yet. Plus, she knows I love her. This is just...self-entertainment. Nothing more."

I'm sure the expression on my face is just as unsure as I feel about this. Maybe he's right. Things will go well. I just don't want Susan to be mad at me for this. I mean, it _is_ her husband's fault. He's the one who persuaded me into their bed.

"So we're doing this, then?" He hovers over me, a hopeful gaze burning into my eyes.

I'm still not one hundred per cent on board with this, but...I roll my eyes in defeat. " _Fine_." He's a gorgeous man giving me puppy eyes. How can I say no? Especially now when I'm in costume.

A door slams shut downstairs. I know he heard it too because we both look directly at the bedroom door. " _Robert_?" Susan calls out.

"Alright. Showtime." He gives me a friendly kiss on the cheek and runs for cover.

" _Robert_." Susan sounds closer to the room. She must be halfway up the stairs by now.

I yank down my mask in a panic, and I neatly pull the cover over my head. Not too neatly, obviously. It's gotta look like I'm Robert. Speak of the devil, where the hell did he hide? The room's so dark, I could barely see my own _hands_ , let alone him moving.

The door knob twists, and the door creaks open. "Robert?" she says softly.

My heart is pounding with anticipation. I'm really hoping I don't screw up.

"Robert, honey," her hand lightly drags up what she thinks is her husband's calf, "why are you in bed already? It's only seven-thirty." I feel her fingers slip underneath the blanket.

_Let's do this_. Before she goes any further, I burst up on the bed and roar at the top of my lungs.

Her scream floods the empty space. She stumbles back into...I think it's a dresser...Nope. My bad. It's her husband. Robert has emerged from his hiding spot and made Susan scream even louder in surprise.

Robert gives a low chuckle at her reaction. I see a video camera in his hand, thank goodness. I was hoping he'd record this.

I start laughing hysterically, harder as she alternates her baffled look between me and Robert. Finally, once she takes in and makes sense of what just happened, she slaps her hand as hard as possible against his chest. "You fucking _asshole_! I _hate_ you!" The way she hugs him and rests her head on his chest definitely cancels out that last statement.

"That's payback for Monday," Robert says, the wide smile clear in his voice. "Think twice next time you decide to line my new glasses with ink."

"We'll see about that. By the way, who's in the mask? Tom or Mark?"

"Neither, actually." I pull the mask up off my head. My vision readjusts now that the image in front of me is not limited by annoying eye holes. I greet her with a wide, amused, "innocent" smile. "Hi, Susan!"

She gives me a shocked look, jaw dropping to truly complete it. "My own best _friend_?"

"I'm gonna go now." Robert rockets out of the room instantly.

Susan comes toward me and grabs the pillow from behind me.

"Now let's be adults here..." I hold my hands up in defense, expecting the bad to come.

"Then take it like an adult." She starts beating down on me with the fluffy pillow, getting me at every possible angle.

I start screaming and laughing, protecting myself with my arms as much as I can. " _Traitor!_ " I shout out at Robert.

" _I can live with that!_ " he shouts back.


End file.
